i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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