Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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