omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
