she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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