Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
