We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
