So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
