she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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