my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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