I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
