so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
