Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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