I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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