First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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