Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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