...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
