Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
