if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
