tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
