Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
