He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think i have herpe
just one?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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