someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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