Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
