the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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