why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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