but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
