We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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