im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he shaved USA in his pubs
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
