I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
