Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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