normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
