Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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