i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We had sex on a dog bed..
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
