"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
