Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
