i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
