My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
