This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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