He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just want to make out with him forever
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
how does that bad decision feel?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize