ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize