Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
