We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize