she woke up with a sticky ear
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
