I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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