so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
