it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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