Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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