I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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