I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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