My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
