dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
