did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
