ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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