dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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