She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
