She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
