I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
