Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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