I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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