we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
