dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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