is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
